The Curious Case of Clifford's Nose
by Roxius
Summary: Patrick Spencer wonders just how Clifford could kiss anyone with that giant nose of his always getting in the way. Panther X Clifford. yaoi. Please R & R!


Disclaimer: I do not own Eyeshield 21.

Pairing: Patrick Spencer/Panther X Clifford D. Lewis.

Short fic. Deal with it, please.

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Calmly, and with no subtleness whatsoever, Patrick Spencer reached out and tapped the very tip of Clifford D. Lewis's long pointy nose. He squinted closely at it, as if unable to believe that it was real. Clifford noticed this, and it annoyed him greatly.

"...Just what in the blazes do you think you are doing, Patrick Spencer?" Clifford snarled in a loud voice, his lips curling downwards into a scowl. Sensing a hint of malice in his teammate's gaze, the black-skinned man didn't waste a second to remove his finger and he muttered a quick apology under his breath. Clifford rolled his eyes.

"Sorry, sorry..." Patrick replied nervously, unable to look Clifford directly in the eye, "But...but I don't understand...just how are you supposed to kiss someone...? I mean...I'm worried about the person getting hurt..."

Clifford's scowl deepened. "...What do you mean? Explain yourself...now!"

Patrick rubbed the back of his head as he tried to think of how to explain it without getting Clifford any further upset. "Well...umm...oh, how do I put this? Err...Clifford...it's...uh, it's been bothering me alot lately...ever since I saw you with that group of fangirls...it's your nose...that's the problem...it...it kind of seems like it may get in the way...whenever anyone tries to kiss you, so...I...I don't know how anyone can get past that...without possibly losing an eye in the process...that's all, really..."

"...WHAT?!!!"

Clifford gasped, and grabbed his significant other by the collar. Pulling him close enough that there was barely even an inch of space between the two young men, Clifford hissed in a threatening tone, "How...DARE you insult me like that, Patrick!! Especially after everything I've done for you! You have the gall to insult my beautiful face?!! You snot-nosed little bastard!"

"I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!!! I'M JUST TELLING THE TRUTH, THAT'S ALL!!! YOU ASKED ME TO TELL YOU!!!" Panther shrieked, waving his arms erratically in fear of possibly being killed. Sure, he was fast, but his physical prowess itself was much to be desired; not as much as Sena's was, but still he was pretty weak compared to someone like Mr. Don.

Dumbstruck, Clifford blinked twice in pure awe of his black teammate's apparent stupidity. '...He's such an idiot, this Patrick Spencer...'

Sighing, Clifford released his grip, and Patrick nearly stumbled backwards onto the floor. He had never felt so relieved.

"You know...you should be more careful about what you say in regards to a person's appearance..." Clifford mumbled, gazing up towards the clear midday sky. A flock of geese passed overhead, honking loudly as if to alert everyone of their presence.

Patrick nodded. "You're right...I'm sorry...I won't do it again..."

"Also...there is a way to make kissing work for me, y'know..." Clifford added.

"Oh? How...?"

Turning back to Patrick with amazing speed, Clifford latched his hands onto both of Patrick's shoulders, cocked the Running back's neck into a sideways position, and their mouths slammed together in a passionate embrace within the time space of several seconds. For a single moment in time, Patrick's brain completely halted. Then, they broke apart, and Clifford smirked as he licked away the saliva on his lips. Patrick, however, was at a total loss. He had no words to express what he was feeling right then.

"You see? It worked out...didn't poke out your eye or anything...I can do it, after all!" Clifford remarked before walking away, chuckling loudly. He was rather proud of himself for what he had just done, for some odd reason.

As he stared at Clifford's retreating form, Patrick sighed and wiped his mouth on his arm. ''He...he kissed me...just to prove his point?! But, still...if you had to bend your neck like that to kiss all the time, it would really end up hurting after a while, wouldn't it?'


End file.
